Acknowledging Grief At Christmas

Christmas is known as the “Most Wonderful Time of The Year”. But, for those who are lonely, who are grieving the loss of a beloved, who have broken hearts or empty chairs, Christmas can become the “Most Painful Time of The Year”. I’ve blogged about this subject in the past, but I feel it is important to include a post on this subject each year to acknowledge and validate those who hurt. It is important to remember that there is great pain, suffering and sorrow year round, and it can become especially intense during this “season of joy”.

For those who are enjoying a peaceful and prosperous season, I encourage you will look around with a sensitive eye, and reach out to someone in your circle who needs an extra measure of kindness and compassion. Do something for them – whatever it is, even the smallest gesture of a card or phone call or act of service, can mean so much to ease their burden.

For those of you who are aching inside, and feeling the extra weight of the holiday, please know that you are not forgotten. My heart aches for and with you. Grieving is most commonly associated with death – but, in reality, we can experience grief due to any kind of loss. Each situation is different but equally difficult for those who it effects. Last Christmas was an extremely agonizing one for our family. We grieved the loss of our daughter’s health, the disruption of our lives, the loss of being able to be together, and ultimately we grieved the loss of the future we had imagined. It was a time of great confusion, loneliness, sadness, fear, anguish … a million different emotions I would never wish for anyone. And yet, I know that right now there are so many going through similar emotions, and their Christmas will not be be a gentle one this year.

I am sorry that I do not have the proper words to say. I have no way to take your personal pain away and the journey you must take. But, I do want you to know that you are not forgotten. Despite your loneliness, fear, sorrow, whatever you may be feeling – please know that you are not alone. My Christmas wish for you is that you will feel love, and you will receive a measure of peace in some very personalized way this season.

The burden of sickness or the grief of mourning a loved one departed brings us to our knees seeking heavenly help. With the ancients we may wonder, “Is there no balm in Gilead?”…

He who was burdened with sorrow and acquainted with grief speaks to every troubled heart and bestows the gift of peace: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

– Thomas S. Monson, Treasured Gifts, December 2006

May God bless and keep you on this day, and always. – MoSop

 The song “You Would Have Loved This” was written by Cori Connors during a Christmas she grieved the loss of a beloved family member. Connor’s hauntingly beautiful melody and lyrics convey both the bitter and the sweet of grief; loss & longing, memories & love.

YOU WOULD HAVE LOVED THIS – LYRICS by Cori Connors

The winter left her blanket
here this morning
A soft and gentle coverlet of white
Unfolded in the shadows of the dawn
It Sparked in the early morning light
You would have loved this
You would have loved this
This was your favorite time of day
The greenery is laid across the mantle
And ornaments are hanging on the tree
And cradled in the windowsill’s a candle
A beacon in the night
to call you back to me
You would have loved this
You always loved this
I know you loved this time of year
And though I understand
One day again I’ll see you
I long to touch your hand,
hear your voice, feel you
You would have loved this
You always loved this
Oh, how you loved.